The Blood that Ruins Us
by HaruhiMalfoy
Summary: What if the controversial character Draco Malfoy was born with a good heart, brought up to act like the opposite, but realized his real potential early enough to change his fate? That's the case here, and it poses a great amount of struggle for the boy...
1. You Hate Me, I Hate Me

Be proud of your blood. I can't even begin to fathom the atrocious number of times I've been told this, by my father, mother, peers, pretty much anybody who's ever been of any use to me. This also means, however, knowing that those with lesser blood than you are worthless little pests in our world. Ever since I was a young boy I've believed this to be, without a doubt, true, seeing myself in a grand light while everyone else bows before me. I'd duel with all opposing until they had no choice but to deal with the fact that I'm just better than them. I mean, it's not my fault that I was born into the uppermost class of wizards, and it isn't their fault that they were born as the lesser beings. It's just something you need to accept and live on with accordingly, right?

Unfortunately, as I mature and get a right mind of my own, I'm seeing more and more that what I've believed all my life is not the case.

My name is Draco Malfoy. I am pureblood, a student attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and am placed in the Slytherin house. Those who know me always think of me to one extreme: they either admire and love me, or they hate my guts and would love to find me dead. This reality is one that I created myself as a younger student at Hogwarts, and truthfully, I hate myself for it. Though I'd never let it show, I'm extremely unsatisfied with my life. All I really have ahead of me is an opportunity to be a servant of the Dark Lord, truly an honor but something I've discovered I don't really want. I cannot have what I really want in this life, though. I can never have that. The reason? The cursed blood status that runs every wizard's life. The thing I once thought to be my blessing is now a bloody curse.

As I look back on my life, I see that everything I've done is all because of my blood. Because of my blood, I am a Slytherin. Because of my blood, I curse at and mock a good portion of the students at Hogwarts, and am therefore brutally hated by so many. Because of my blood, I've ended up with that horrid beast Pansy Parkinson. I'll admit it, my blood has formed my life, and it's already ruined me.

Speaking of which, I'll now stop complaining about my life, and I'll get on to my point in narrating this to you.

I guess I can say that my realizations started about the time that I started dating Pansy. This happened during my fifth year, just at the age when everybody really starts maturing and finding out who they really are. Let me tell you, a younger Draco was perfect for such a velociraptor-like girl. I'm serious when I say that Pansy would rip apart anybody she felt like doing so to. I was sort of like a less catty version of Pansy when I was younger, so you can see why we started becoming romantically involved.

The girl adored me. While she became a vicious monster of sorts around anyone from Gryffindor house, most specifically that Hermione Granger, she was as cuddly and loving as a kitten around me. Sure, I felt the same as she did when we first started going out, but after time she just seemed so… Hard to hold a real conversation with; she was very clingy, and it became increasingly annoying.

But I kept acting like everything was perfectly fine.

What I realized was that something that seemed annoying to me was how relentlessly mean she acted. My realizing that was so confusing; after all, wasn't that how I treated people, too? After pondering this ridiculous scenario for a few days I just decided to dismiss it as myself being hypocritical and that I'd just have to deal with it. It was always easiest to believe that any bad situation that occurred was only due to things I could change if I so wanted.

It turned out this was not nearly the end of my worries.

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><p><strong>-END OF CHAPTER 1-<strong>


	2. My Panic Begins

My second realization was one that Crabbe and Goyle let me know of. It was as I just stood around outside letting my mind drift, while making sure it didn't drift to a certain thought that I knew could not be true, and Potter's little gang walked by. It wasn't that I did anything out of ordinary; it was more of my absence of doing anything that confused the two.

"Hey, Draco, ain't that ol' Potter and the happy couple?" Crabbe said to me, referring to Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley, obviously expecting one of my infamous snide remarks about the Boy who Shouldn't Have Lived.

"Yeah…" was all I said; I just wasn't in the mood. Goyle and Crabbe exchanged a glance with each other that said "Yep, this guy's a total buzz kill."

"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?" Goyle said, trying to sound like he wasn't annoyed by me.

I knew very well that they were annoyed, however. I would be, too. But really, these two should be able to function on their own and not need me to lead everything they do! God.

After that, I really just wanted to be left alone. So when Pansy ran up to us and started fawning over me as usual, I hit my limit and stormed off, leaving the three idiots behind.

Not sure of where I was going, I walked briskly through the halls in a sort of fury. It occurred to me that I had no reason whatsoever to be so upset, but for some reason something in my mind decided I should be anyway. Thoughts buzzed through my head like a hundred Quidditch games were being played in my skull. It was all so disorientating that I can't even really remember what I was thinking. All I know is that I somehow ended up in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

I approached the mirror and looked at myself closely. What the hell was wrong with me?

I couldn't see anything that was physically different about me. Of course, what did I expect, the answer to my sudden outburst of emotion would be printed across my forehead?

Having seen enough of myself, I slid down the wall until I was seated on the floor up against it. I put my hands over my face, gripping onto my silver blonde hair as though trying to get a grip on myself again. Actually, that's exactly what I was trying to do.

I can distinctly remember what went on in my mind at that point. My thought process went something like this:

_I'm angry._

_I'm upset._

_All the time._

_Nobody._

_Nobody makes me happy anymore._

_I cannot be happy._

_No jokes._

_What_

_happened_

_to_

_me?_

_(you know it you know it's all because of)_

_NO!_

_(you're different you're not what you were supposed to be you are a)_

_I have to be me again._

_It doesn't matter what I'm feeling now._

This is when I made the decision to force myself, FORCE myself, to act as though everything's still the way it was before. By doing this, I'd eventually be back to normal, and this rough patch would be forgotten.

Now, this did work for a little while. In no time I was back to my good old self- unleashing hate and cruelty towards filthy mudbloods, basking in the admiration of Pansy, Crabbe Goyle, and many other Slytherins, and, most importantly, ruining the life of stupid Potter.

I still can't believe I stayed so naïve for so long.

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><p><strong>-END OF CHAPTER 2-<strong>

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><p><em><strong>Author's Note: <strong>Hey, guys, I hope you're enjoying the story so far. I have a request of you- can you please review my story so that I know what I can improve, change and fix up? I'd really appreciate it! :)_


	3. Acceptance, Denial

My restored period of me showing classic Slytherin pride lasted for the rest of the school didn't turn for the worse again until the summer.

You think that you've had the worst summer ever when you get grounded and can't go out to the beach with your friends, wait until you've heard how mine went.

My father, the esteemed Lucius Malfoy, was sent to jail because of his… Work. That certainly didn't make me feel very good, damn it.

And as if that wasn't bad enough, here comes The Dark Lord to me. My father failed, so now I've got a task to do.

I need to kill my own professor.

Ha, beat you now, didn't I.

On a serious note, this obviously took quite a toll on my psyche. After a while of planning and thinking, I decided on something. This was He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, after all. I'd have to just do it and take whatever consequences come due to it.

I knew that I'd need to leave Hogwarts after the deed was done and never return. I knew that at the moment I was to cast the killing curse on the old wizard, I'd set my fate forever. So, my "brilliant" plan was to wait until the very end of the year. This way, I'd have six years of schooling under my belt, and I would have the opportunity to get in one more year of my go-lucky student life.

I know that my plan lacked honor. Yeah, go ahead and yell at me for it, I'm a Slytherin, remember? We're all about cunningness and trickery!

But I digress. Let's move on to what happened once my year at Hogwarts started. It gets juicy here, folks.

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><p><strong>-More of chapter to be added in update-<strong>


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